I have experienced feeling out of place and that made me who I am today. Some tried to sand me down, and at times I thought conformity was the best way to get ahead, but once I got to college, and even more so when I started my own business, I realized I needed to be my authentic self to succeed and lead. Now that I’m even older and wiser I realize how conformity can creep into so many aspects of life.
For instance, I’ve been working in the tech startup world for a while and it is easy to get caught in comparisons with Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley is held up as the standard for disruptive anti-conformity and innovation. However, most in Silicon Valley are conforming. Leaders who draw comparisons between themselves and their communities and Silicon Valley are using conformist thinking that is limiting. Conformity in Silicon Valley looks like fitting into founder archetypes like being either highly technical or highly visionary. Conformity gets you a startup executive coach that has his or her own conformity mindset on what coaching is. Conformity gets you looking for examples to follow from the books you read. Can we truly lead with fancy business school degrees and majority views of success? I think it maybe the hardest way to lead.
Conformity creeps into everything and is the enemy of authentic and real leadership. Conformity is what we are fighting inside ourselves and in the world. We need the courage to think differently and take the most courageous path and not the well trodden pathway that has been portrayed as the road less traveled.
To lead yourself and others on courageous pathways, you need to be true to yourself — not a sanded down, conformist version. When you aren’t yourself or acting authentically, people detect that and then they try to find out why you are not acting authentically. Trying to find out why you aren’t acting like your true self breeds distrust in you and your leadership. When we are trying to lead others and move to the next levels, we must realize that people prefer leaders who are authentic and different because it makes leadership appear accessible to all in the care of our leadership and they in turn will strive for more too. You thus inspire others to lead themselves.
So my invitation to you is to have the courage to be yourself, get out of the comfort and conformity of life, and find your own path so that others will be inspired to find theirs too.